Ever wanted to just enter into a dream like state, where anything and everything is possible? While most people would resort to drugs like LSD to take them to this faraway land, I present to you a new, drug free way to tweak out: The Genzfeld procedure! That's right, folks! You can now trip without tripping!
What You Will Need
1 ping pong ball
Some tape
1 radio
1 pair of headphones
Comfy chair or bed
Room with even lighting
What to do
Cut the ping pong ball in half
Turn the radio on, plug the head phones in, and put them in your ear and stuff
Turn the radio to a station where it's just static or white noise (trust me, there's a reason for this)
Now, take the 2 halves of the ping pong ball you cut earlier and tape them over your eyes
Lay down on the comfy chair or whatever and sit there (should take a few minutes to kick in)
Follow Rainbow Dash into the gum drop forest and live happily ever after.
How It Works If you're anything like me, you probably flipped shit after trying this, and thought to yourself "Now how the fuck did that just happen?" Believe it or not, it all has to do with basic brain chemistry. You see, in the not too distant past, scientists were interested in bringing on hallucinations in the conscious brain in order to study the bodies reactions to certain stimuli, but it turns out that the brain is actually addicted to sensation and stimulation.
This experiment basically deprives the human brain (and body, for that matter) of any kind of stimulation. Sight is eliminated, hearing is drowned out, and you're just kinda laying there. There is absolutely nothing for your brain to take in. So, because your brain craves stimulation, it creates it's own sensations, generating the strange hallucinations you experienced. Pretty cool, right? I find this an excellent way to kill time on a boring afternoon.
Since the beginning of time, there have been people who have risen above the average man and achieved great things, and thus earned their place in today's history textbooks. When we think of history, we probably think of the people who have influenced history the most, and the amazing things they have done. However, people make the stupid mistake of looking up to people whom we think have done amazing things, but are actually pretty much total douchebags. Here's a list of some of these people.
5. Christopher Columbus Why he's awesome... Let's be honest: If it weren't for this guy, we wouldn't be living our cozy little lives in the good ol' US of A. This Spanish explorer discovered our beautiful land that we call home today, and due to his selflessness, we even named a holiday after him. With his team of navigators and explorers, he landed on the coast of what is now the Bahamas so that he could begin his expedition of greatness... ... or Not. ... and proceed to kill and torture the native people who lived here. Although uncomfirmed, many people insist him and his crew tortured, hunted, and raped the native people for sport. What we do know is that he basically enslaved a whole race of natives so he could sell and trade them for personal gain. If they didn't comply, he would simply cut their hands off or kill them. Sounds like a great guy, right? Leave it to America to name a holiday after a slave trader and murderer.
4. John Mayer
Why he's awesome... Who doesn't like a guy who plays guitar? I mean, come on now, this guy has won 8 Grammies, and has played guitar with pretty much every big musical artist out there. Who hasn't heard of John Mayer? ...or Not.
Too bad he's a total prick. Thanks to some interviews with Playboy and Rolling Stone, we can now safely say this guy is a real asshole. Some of his classy comments include calling his ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson a "drug", and referring to her as "sexual napalm". If that's not good enough for you, perhaps the fact that he used the N-word and specifically referred to his dick as a "white supremacist" is. Bravo, John. Bravo.
3. George W. Bush
Why he's awesome... I can't even write why he's awesome, because he's really not in any way. Occasionally I'll hear a few idiots say they liked him as a president, and that he did some good for our country, but I'm assuming these are the same people who told their elementary school teachin' lady "The only letters I need to know are U, S, and A!"
...or Not. Let's start this off by saying that he's an idiot, and because he's so dumb, I was hesitant about putting him on this list. I figured, "Ya know, to be a jerk, you have to know what you're doing, otherwise you're just stupid", but after reviewing some of the things he's said, it's safe to assume the amount of ignorance he showed towards the American people and the world in general cearly makes him a jerk. I used to watch his speeches not because they were useful or because I thought they would make a positive change, but because I looked forward to hearing how he would screw up this time. Dude, for the love of god, he used the word "crusade" against the Muslims, what the hell is wrong with him? Also, one of my most fond memories of him was when he addressed the Italian prime minister in Spanish, saying "Amigo! Amigo!", and watching everyone around him adopt a look of "god, just tell him to shut the f*ck up". In fact, he screwed up so many times, there is actually a term for his kind of grammatical error, known as "Bushisms" (no joke, google it). Yes Bush, we certainly did misunderestimate you.
2. Paris Hilton Why she's awesome...
Fashion is a fast growing industry. We all want to look our best, so that way we can be the best. Ms. Hilton is certainly one of the best when it comes to fashion, and is the perfect poster-girl for the big life. She's rich, has good taste in clothing, and certainly knows how to live in style. That's an inspiration to all of us, RIGHT?!
...or Not.
WRONG!! There are a lot of reasons you do not want to follow in her footsteps. For starters, the only reason she's rich is because she inherited millions from her father (who owned a hotel), and the only reason she's famous is because she's rich. Yep, the basic story of a person who's rich and famous because they're rich and famous. Oh wait, I forgot, the other main reason she's famous is because there's a sex tape of her on the internet. Now THAT's a legit claim to fame right there (Kim Kardashian, anyone?). Also, when she was put in prison for drunk driving and putting other people's lives at risk, she bitched and cried about it in tons of interviews, acting as if she was above the law. Boy oh boy, the spotlight sure knows how to pick em'.
1. Che Guevara Why he's awesome... Cuba was a pretty shitty place before the communist revolution. Poverty was widespread, the people were oppressed and not represented, and worst of all, there was no communist government in place. Lucky for them though, a few communist revolutionaries known as Fidel Castro, Raul Castro, and the famous Che Guevara came to save the day. The future for Cuba seemed bright and productive, and as the revolution spread, things slowly became better...
...or Not.
... and more people started to die. Have you ever seen this picture on t-shirts worn by discontent youth?
Apparently we like to idolize him because he was a revolutionary. A fighter born from the people, for the people. While I myself like how he tried to revolutionize communism and fight for the people, he ended up destroying the very people he helped. Are you aware of the Cuban genocide? People like to pin that on Fidel Castro, but believe it or not, Che Guevara was the one who did most of the killing. And while you may be thinking that killing people is necessary for revolution, Che liked to single out specific people: homosexuals. Che was infamous for opening concentration camps in Cuba specifically for people who spoke out against the revolution, and for people who were found to be gay. He would go from village to village in Cuba, seeking out the homosexuals, and eiter kill them there, or take them back to his prisons were they would eventually be killed. That's right ladies and gentlemen, teenagers wear shirts these days just because it looks cool, not because of what the person on the shirt did. If you're going to wear clothing with a picture of someone on it, for the love of god, please do your homework and find out why exactly that person is famous.
Who doesn't like Halo? Since 2001, the franchise has given every nerd in the world everything they could ask for: Awesome energy based weapons, a species of sociopathic religious aliens, blue holographic naked women, and a main character so bad ass that Chuck Norris could have played him. Oh yes, Bungie seemed to have it all with this game. However, when Bungie decided to split from Microsoft, the future of Halo looked uncertain. A new developer emerged from Microsoft known as 343 Industries, a Microsoft born studio that now owns the Halo franchise, and is in charge of all future Halo projects. There has been skepticism among the Halo community as to whether 343 has what it takes to continue the Halo series. Their newest game, Halo 4, is the first of three more games to come that will continue the Halo story. Does Halo 4 live up to the incredibly high standard set by the previous Halo games? Let's take a look.
The Basics
The game begins with Master Chief waking up from his four year power nap in a cryo-chamber on board the damaged UNSC frigate Forward unto Dawn. The covenant have stormed the ship (apparently that truce didn't last long), and to make matters worse, they are being sucked towards a giant forerunner planet called Requiem. I'm not going to give away the rest of the story, but the game takes off quick. It's a first-person shooter, with similar controls to the other Halo games. Tons of new weapons and gameplay elements give the player a game that is quite unlike the other Halo games.
The Good News... I'd like to start this section by saying that the graphics of Halo 4 are probably the best of any game I've ever seen on the 360, and really push the graphics capabilities of the 360 to it's limits. Watching the cutscenes, I actually had a hard time being able to tell if they were live action or animated (until an elite showed up). The campaign is full of environments and landscapes that will make your jaw drop in awe; seeing my first giant forerunner structure took my breath away, because not only were the designs so beautiful, but they actually looked real! And don't even get me started on the forerunner weaponry; never did I think killing someone could look so beautiful.
The gameplay is fantastic as well. The large arsenal of weapons and vehicles is impressive, and there are several new gametypes (including Flood, which is like Infection, except with... well... the flood). The armor customization options are spectacular (Hooray for red visor color!!!), and the ability to customize loadouts is a nice touch that helps Halo keep up with modern shooting games. The multiplayer is more fast paced since you can choose to respawn almost immediately when you die, and now games are point based so that even the assist noobs (like myself) contribute to the teams victory.
And Now for the Bad News Every rose has it's thorn, and Halo 4 is no exception. While the game may appear flawless at first, most people won't even notice what's missing: The theater for campaign. While theater is still available for multiplayer, 343 made it completely unavailable for campaign missions. I don't know about you, but when I kill 4 hunters with a plasma pistol on legendary and brag about it at lunch, I want some proof to show my buddies. However, there have been rumors around the web that a title update may indeed make theater available again, but there is no way of being sure. For now, I guess we will have to be theaterless.
Also, I am less than impressed with Master Chief's character development in Halo 4. I know this is based off of personal opinion more than anything, but I was always used to the Chief being a silent, mysterious character that we know little about. Well, Halo 4 decided to change all that. Remember how little the Chief talked in previous games? Perhaps we got two lines out of him per mission, if we were lucky. However, in Halo 4, we get about as much dialogue out of him as we do Cortana, and she's going bat shit crazy, so trust me, that's alot. I don't necessarily feel that having all this dialogue for the Chief is staying true to the original Halo series, and the attempts at humor throughout the game were a little embarrassing, to say the least.
Final Score: 8.5/10
All in all, Halo 4 was a pretty solid game. I enjoyed playing it more than any other Halo game out there, and even though it may have a few flaws here and there, they did not take away from the experience that it was trying to deliver. Whether you're new to the Halo universe, or a Halo veteran, I highly recommend this game for any Xbox 360 owner. All points considered, this game deserves a well earned 8.5/10.
Hello friends, I would like to welcome you to my blog type thing. For the past month or so, I've been looking for ways to advertise my art and ideas to the world, and get people to pay attention to what I'm doing. Since highschool is basically a prison (mostly) full of sex-hungry creatures filled to the brim with ignorance, I have decided to take my ideas to the interwebs. I'm going to start off by saying that my opinions are strong, and I'm more stubborn than a convention full of conservatives from Alabama (I'm a Taurus, give me a break), so if you don't like it, get out now. Here are some basic things about me:
I'm a devoted Wiccan
I'm a Marxist/communist
I paint, draw, sculpt, and basically do everything artsy
I listen to ANY type of music
I LOVE any kind of cheese
So yeah, that's me in a nutshell. Stick around if you want to hear some awesome rants about politics and society, movie reviews, game reviews, top ten lists for the stupidest shit on the internet, awesome things I feel like sharing, or if you just want to see some really cool art. Hit me up if you want to talk about anything, or have suggestions for posts or topics: thedemonsfire@gmail.com
