Why he's awesome...
Let's be honest: If it weren't for this guy, we wouldn't be living our cozy little lives in the good ol' US of A. This Spanish explorer discovered our beautiful land that we call home today, and due to his selflessness, we even named a holiday after him. With his team of navigators and explorers, he landed on the coast of what is now the Bahamas so that he could begin his expedition of greatness...
... or Not.
... and proceed to kill and torture the native people who lived here. Although uncomfirmed, many people insist him and his crew tortured, hunted, and raped the native people for sport. What we do know is that he basically enslaved a whole race of natives so he could sell and trade them for personal gain. If they didn't comply, he would simply cut their hands off or kill them. Sounds like a great guy, right? Leave it to America to name a holiday after a slave trader and murderer.
Why he's awesome...
Who doesn't like a guy who plays guitar? I mean, come on now, this guy has won 8 Grammies, and has played guitar with pretty much every big musical artist out there. Who hasn't heard of John Mayer?
...or Not.
Too bad he's a total prick. Thanks to some interviews with Playboy and Rolling Stone, we can now safely say this guy is a real asshole. Some of his classy comments include calling his ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson a "drug", and referring to her as "sexual napalm". If that's not good enough for you, perhaps the fact that he used the N-word and specifically referred to his dick as a "white supremacist" is. Bravo, John. Bravo.
3. George W. BushWhy he's awesome...
I can't even write why he's awesome, because he's really not in any way. Occasionally I'll hear a few idiots say they liked him as a president, and that he did some good for our country, but I'm assuming these are the same people who told their elementary school teachin' lady "The only letters I need to know are U, S, and A!"
...or Not.
Let's start this off by saying that he's an idiot, and because he's so dumb, I was hesitant about putting him on this list. I figured, "Ya know, to be a jerk, you have to know what you're doing, otherwise you're just stupid", but after reviewing some of the things he's said, it's safe to assume the amount of ignorance he showed towards the American people and the world in general cearly makes him a jerk. I used to watch his speeches not because they were useful or because I thought they would make a positive change, but because I looked forward to hearing how he would screw up this time. Dude, for the love of god, he used the word "crusade" against the Muslims, what the hell is wrong with him? Also, one of my most fond memories of him was when he addressed the Italian prime minister in Spanish, saying "Amigo! Amigo!", and watching everyone around him adopt a look of "god, just tell him to shut the f*ck up". In fact, he screwed up so many times, there is actually a term for his kind of grammatical error, known as "Bushisms" (no joke, google it). Yes Bush, we certainly did misunderestimate you.
2. Paris HiltonWhy she's awesome...
Fashion is a fast growing industry. We all want to look our best, so that way we can be the best. Ms. Hilton is certainly one of the best when it comes to fashion, and is the perfect poster-girl for the big life. She's rich, has good taste in clothing, and certainly knows how to live in style. That's an inspiration to all of us, RIGHT?!
...or Not.
WRONG!! There are a lot of reasons you do not want to follow in her footsteps. For starters, the only reason she's rich is because she inherited millions from her father (who owned a hotel), and the only reason she's famous is because she's rich. Yep, the basic story of a person who's rich and famous because they're rich and famous. Oh wait, I forgot, the other main reason she's famous is because there's a sex tape of her on the internet. Now THAT's a legit claim to fame right there (Kim Kardashian, anyone?). Also, when she was put in prison for drunk driving and putting other people's lives at risk, she bitched and cried about it in tons of interviews, acting as if she was above the law. Boy oh boy, the spotlight sure knows how to pick em'.
1. Che Guevara Why he's awesome...
Cuba was a pretty shitty place before the communist revolution. Poverty was widespread, the people were oppressed and not represented, and worst of all, there was no communist government in place. Lucky for them though, a few communist revolutionaries known as Fidel Castro, Raul Castro, and the famous Che Guevara came to save the day. The future for Cuba seemed bright and productive, and as the revolution spread, things slowly became better...
...or Not.
... and more people started to die. Have you ever seen this picture on t-shirts worn by discontent youth?
Apparently we like to idolize him because he was a revolutionary. A fighter born from the people, for the people. While I myself like how he tried to revolutionize communism and fight for the people, he ended up destroying the very people he helped. Are you aware of the Cuban genocide? People like to pin that on Fidel Castro, but believe it or not, Che Guevara was the one who did most of the killing. And while you may be thinking that killing people is necessary for revolution, Che liked to single out specific people: homosexuals. Che was infamous for opening concentration camps in Cuba specifically for people who spoke out against the revolution, and for people who were found to be gay. He would go from village to village in Cuba, seeking out the homosexuals, and eiter kill them there, or take them back to his prisons were they would eventually be killed. That's right ladies and gentlemen, teenagers wear shirts these days just because it looks cool, not because of what the person on the shirt did. If you're going to wear clothing with a picture of someone on it, for the love of god, please do your homework and find out why exactly that person is famous.
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